Blogging

Just so you all know... I really do have a life outside of grieving the loss of my mom.

Sometimes I worry as I blog that it sounds like I am completely obsessed with the loss of my mom. I'm really not, and I really have a life. Unfortunately it is just one of the only things I feel like I can blog about.

I can't talk about my kids anymore on my blog. They are all older and like their privacy. They would die if I told any funny/embarrassing stories here. (Although here's a status update: one child has lost his/her iPod until he/she learns to be more respectful. I have one child who is grounded for Friday and Saturday night. (And that may be the same child, but I'm not sayin'.) I have one child with a super messy room. Another child left his/her instrument at school today and conveniently couldn't practice. One kid threw another kid's rock collection down the stairs.)

Luckily they are all doing great in school, Tyler is turning in his Eagle application this week and is getting ready to perform the Mozart Sonata K330 - all three movements (two years' worth of work!), Aubree is having a ball being in the school musical and was the co-captain of the Round 3 Academic Team. Marcus had his Parent Teacher conferences and got rave reviews about his smarts, hard work, and fantastic behavior in class. Caleb can carry on conversations in Chinese and loves to practice the piano every morning with his mommy. (I am not even kidding! It's our fun "bonding" time together.)

I can't talk much about work because of the nature of my job. (Although here's a funny work story... I am in charge of the city's annual Awards Banquet. I quickly wrote up what the invitations should say and sent them to the printer. Several days later I was laying in my bed and realized that I neglected to say WHERE the party would be. Doh! Invitations were already printed, so I paid $55 out of my own pocket to have them reprinted. Kind of an expensive way to learn to double check my proofs.)

My husband doesn't particularly like the world knowing his business. (Although, I will brag a little and say that Matt got a great promotion at work and I am really proud of him!)

Other than those little tidbits, there's not much going on around here that I can blog about. I really do have a great life!

Grandma's Cookie Jar

I mentioned previously that we were at my dad's house last Saturday. On my parent's entertainment center is a funny cookie jar. It had to be from the 1950's, or maybe even older. My dad said that he wanted us to start claiming the items we wanted to inherit. We talked about the cookie jar, not quite sure what to do with it. Dad even made the comment that heirlooms like that are only as good as the story that goes along with it.

As I was going through my mom's computer files, I ran across a word document written by her. It said...

This cookie jar belonged to Lillie Boden Hellman. Sherri Jepson Winder remembers seeing this on her grandmother’s kitchen counter in the “old” house where her mother, Betty, was raised. Sherri was under the age of five. The cookie jar must have been packed away when Grandpa and Grandma Hellman built their final home. She never saw it again until after Lil’s death in 1995. Sherri inherited it and displayed it in her home on Winder Lane. On Sunday, April 20, 2008, Sherri’s granddaughter Lily McKenna Larsen showed an interest in it. She wondered why it had such a “big bum”. Sherri remembers those same thoughts as a little girl. At the age of 4, Lily was promised this cookie jar, upon the death of Sherri Jepson Winder.

I couldn't believe it! Just the night before we were talking about that cookie jar and who should have it.  My mom made it perfectly clear, and now we even have the story to go along with it.

Feeling Peace

Wow! I feel so much better since I've had that dream. I don't even know why. It really is so crazy. It could be because of the good, hard cry I had when I woke up. Matt said it was one of the three hardest cries he's heard me have since my mom died. You know how good it feels when you've had a good cry?? Maybe I feel calm because I got all of that out.

I was reading online about the seven stages of grief. I think I was kind of stuck in the "depression/despair" stage for the past few weeks (months?). I was seriously crying so much about my mom. It seemed so depressing to me to not have her anymore.

Yesterday and today I feel like a cloud has lifted. I feel hope. I know I can go on living a happy life, even without my mom here. I hope this feeling lasts.

In fact, I've done several things in the past 48 hours that didn't even make me cry. First I went through my mom's computer files to see what I needed to save or pass along. Secondly, remember the photo montage of my kids with Grandma Sherri that I made them for Christmas? Well, my sweet friend, Kelly, sent me vinyl lettering to put on each one. They say, "Marcus and Grandma Sherri," or "Aubree and Grandma Sherri." I put them on tonight and they turned out beautifully and I am so excited about it. (Thanks again, Kelly!!) I didn't even cry.

I hope this feeling lasts. I think I am coming to grips with this loss. I feel so much peace today.

Painted Coconuts

Early this morning I had an incredible dream.

I dreamt my siblings and spouses, and my parents were eating dinner in a restaurant. My mom got up to use the restroom. My siblings and I were commenting on how odd mom was behaving. Candalyn, my sister-in-law said, "Oh you guys, mom has terminal cancer and will be dying any day now. They didn't want you to worry, but tomorrow will probably be her last day and you should know that."

Mom came back from the restroom and we went on, trying not to let on that we knew.

After we finished eating, my mom grabbed my hand and took me outside the restaurant. Displayed in the restaurant windows were beautifully painted coconuts. Apparently they were mom's collection. (Yeah, weird.) Mom took me by the hands and said she wanted me to pick whichever coconut I wanted.

I turned to her and with tears in my eyes said, "Mom, we know." She looked at me and said, "I know you do."

Then I started to cry. She moved my hair away from my face, stood face to face holding both my hands. She looked me right in the eyes and said, "You're a big girl now and you will be just fine. You can go on and you will be okay."

I sobbed and gave her a big hug. I told her, "Mom, I'm so sorry for anything I've ever said or done..."

Then I woke up.

I laid in my bed and cried so hard that I accidentally woke Matt up. He held me as I sobbed.

The dream felt so real. It was the most vivid dream I've ever had of my mom. I was bummed to wake up and not get to finish my conversation with her, but I know I had to wake up right then or I wouldn't have remembered it.

I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for giving me the gift of this dream. Now I need to go and pick my painted coconut - whatever that means.

The only thing I can think of is that last night my siblings all got together with my dad for our monthly Date Night. We met at dad's house, ate dinner, and just hung out. As we were talking, we commented on how someday when dad remarries, most likely all his decor will change. His future wife will probably want to decorate their house according to her tastes. Dad asked us all what we would want and said he wanted to start giving away some of the knick knacks and other things. I told him that I couldn't think of anything I wanted.

After this dream, I was thinking that I should go through and find some things that remind me of my mom to keep. I have some of her clothes, but those will wear out, go out of style, and I won't keep them forever.

The other thing I got from this dream was how hard it has been on us to not have closure. I look at some of my friends who have lost a parent to cancer and I think how hard that would be to watch a parent slowly die. But on the other hand I bet they had some very special experiences saying goodbye.

I guess this was a bit of closure for me.

Lastly, I woke up so grateful for such a merciful Lord. I have not been as grateful to him lately as I should. In fact, I've been a little bugged that he took my mom from me. But I have no doubt that He loves me. He is aware of me. He sent His son to this earth to suffer and die for me so that I can one day live with Him again. I need to be more grateful.

All of you who still have your moms on this earth... Please, do me a favor and give them a giant hug this week. Tell them you love them. Apologize for anything you need to. Cherish the time you have with them.

My Kids Make Me Happy

This week has been rough. On Tuesday I was so weepy and just ached for my mom. I called her friend, Kim, on my way into work. Kim was nice to give me encouragement that my mom and I had a great relationship the past two years and I shouldn't beat myself up or have regrets. (My mom and I clashed quite a bit through the years. For more details see this post.)

I am feeling a little better today and realizing that getting enough sleep is key. I also have to realize that Satan would love to have me in a depression funk so that I don't function well. I am working to rely more heavily on faith and to strengthen my testimony in the Plan of Salvation.

It is nice to realize what truly brings me joy. One of those things is my children. I feel the happiest when I am completely engaged in being a good mom. Last night I went and tucked them each into bed again before I went to bed. I told my oldest two how proud I was of them, how much I loved them, and gave them hugs. My younger two were asleep and I snuggled with them for a few minutes. It was so healing.

Today was a good mom day. I love making them laugh and interacting with them. I am learning to let some things go for a minute so we can relish time together.

Tami's Talk

My sister, Tami, was asked to speak in her Stake Relief Society conference. Her topic was how Christ has helped her in dealing with our mom's death. I was so grateful to get Tami's email with her talk because today was such a hard day for me. I miss my mom terribly and I am grateful for my little sister who has helped my strength and faith today.

With Tami's permission, she said I can share her talk:

In my favorite hymn we sing the words "I Believe in Christ, so come what may..."  This statement has become truer to me and my family in the past five months than ever before.  In the past five months my relationship with my Savior has changed.  

There are three principles I've developed a greater understanding of during this short time in my life than I've ever developed in the 30+ years I've been learning the Gospel.  These principles include...

 1) The Lord will always be there for us, no matter our trials.

2)  Our Savior is real.  He lives.  He is mindful of us.  Same with our Father in Heaven.

3) The Plan of Salvation is so simple.  Our time on the earth is just a small part of it.

Let me back up to my life a little over  five months ago.  It was September 11th.  The world was mourning the sad tragedy that had happened to our country just ten years earlier.  Little did I know that by the time the day was over, I would be mourning  a much more personal loss.  The night of that somber Sunday I received the tragic news that while my parents were driving down to St. George in a rainstorm, they lost control of the car and went off the road causing a terrible car accident.  My dad was okay, he had been taken to the hospital in St. George with just bumps and bruises.  My mom on the other hand had died instantly in the crash.  That night my life changed.  My mom was a healthy, young, beautiful woman.  To have her taken so suddenly from our lives was such a shock.  

However, as hard as it's been to lose someone I love so much, I have grown so much closer to my Savior.  

1  As I mentioned I've developed a greater understanding that the Lord will always be there for us, no matter our trials.    It doesn't matter if we are dealing with a trial as simple as trying to calm a fussy baby in the middle of the night.  Or a big 'Job'-like trial where we lose everything important to us,  He will be there. 

The week of the funeral, and even weeks after that we could feel the prayers of others making us strong and able to get through the hardship.  We heard of people all over the world who were praying for us and including our names in the temple prayer role.  If you know of anyone going through a hard trial, pray for them, they will feel it.

The Lord will never give us more than we can handle.  My brother shared a story with me where he was having a discouraging time missing our mom and worrying about his career and future.  After praying, the spirit directed him to the scripture found in Mosiah 24: 13-15.

13 And it ^acame to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.

 14 And I will also ease the ^aburdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as^bwitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their ^cafflictions.

 15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did^astrengthen them that they could bear up their ^bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with ^cpatience to all the will of the Lord.

  He felt so much peace and comfort knowing Christ would ease his burdens and was there for him as he went through his trials.  All of us have this promise if we keep our covenants with Him too.  

Another thing my family has realized is how adaptable humans are.  This is one of the great blessings we've been given as Christ's most intelligent creations, to adapt.  It is one of the ways we are able to handle life's trials.  Life has gone on since my mom passed.  As much as we wish her here, we've adapted.  We've learned to look to others for 'mom' advice, celebrate the holidays eating on paper plates instead of fine china, accepting her presence at baptisms and baby blessings as feelings instead of physically being there.  Even my dad has learned how to shop for grandkids Christmas and birthday presents, do the laundry and host family get-togethers.  We've adapted and it's helped us get through our trials.

2 The second thing I've learned is our Savior is real.  He lives and is mindful of us.  Same with our Father in Heaven.  

I've noticed that my prayers are different.  When I talk to my Heavenly Father, I feel like he is so much closer and real to me than he was before.  I feel that losing my mom has changed this for me.  I struggle knowing how to describe it.  I know my mom.  She is a real person.  I know without a doubt she is still a person, but in the spirit world.  I know she is still real.  Because I know this about her, it helps me grasp the understanding that my Father in Heaven and my brother, Jesus Christ are also real.  They are there too.  I know our Savior is a resurrected being who has a body.  I feel like my mom is just an arm's reach away, therefore I've felt my Savior and Father in Heaven are also just an arm's reach away.  When I pray, I feel them so close to me.  My faith has grown immensely.  In 3 Nephi 18:20 it says...  

 And ^awhatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you.

 I've learned that when I've asked for righteous desires, he's blessed me with them.  Even asking to know that my mom is spiritually with us has been a great blessing.  

My nephew was recently baptized.  This was one of those events where we missed our mom.  Especially since the last time we saw her was at my daughter's baptism the day before the accident.  My sister prayed to know when my mom would be there as we were sure she would be.  During the opening song the spirit was overpowering, I was crying and couldn't get through the song.  My dad and sister were sitting quite far from us.  Afterward, we were talking and my sister mentioned that she felt Mom's presence during the opening song, so had my dad (we joked it was just like Mom to come into a meeting during the opening song).  This experience was a testimony to me that her prayer was answered.  Even though we were not sitting together, we all felt her presence at the same time. 

So many times I feel the Lord is using my mom to help answer my prayers.  There's been several times where I've heard in my head "be patient" or "calm down, it will be okay", but they come as my mom's voice, not my own.  I feel this has been a blessing that not only brought me comfort knowing she still cares for me, but it has also helped my testimony and faith of prayer increase.

Reading the scriptures has also become more real for me too.  When I read accounts in the scriptures about the Savior, whether it be when He visited the Nephites in America, or when he showed himself to the brother of Jared, my heart swells.  It burns with the excitement that these people were able to experience seeing the Savior.  I long for my chance to see Him too.

3 The third thing I've learned is the Plan of Salvation is so simple.  Our time on the earth is just a small part of it.

  When my mom passed away I was six months pregnant with our fourth child.  That life growing inside me was such a comfort to me.  I felt like I was dealing with the grief so much better than some of the others in my family and I think that baby was a big part of it.  I knew that my daughter was alive in the pre-mortal world, waiting for her turn on this earth.  At the same time, my mom was just entering the post-mortal world ready to take on her next assignment in the eternities.  Again, we knew my mom would be there when our daughter entered the world.  I remember when she was born the room seemed completely quiet and peaceful.  The spirit was so strong and it felt as though the room was full of people.  I know that not only was my mom there to bring this child into the world, but I'm sure many other loved ones were present also.  Knowing someone who has just started their time in mortality and someone who has just left it makes the Plan of Salvation seem so simple.  I long more now than ever for our Savior to come again.  To think it could be another 50 years or more before I see my mom again hurts, but at the same time I know, as it says in D&C 121:7 

...thine afflictions shall be but a ^csmall moment;

 This life is but a small moment.  I have a testimony that we can be a family forever.  The knowledge I have of our Heavenly Father and Saviors plan for us has been the greatest blessing to me during these past months.  I don't know how I would get through it without the gospel in my life.  Looking to God has helped me live through the toughest five months of my life.

"I believe in Christ, so come what may."

Done

Okay, I am out.

Done with my no-sugar gig.

I'm going to have a cookie.

When I said, "Sugar Fast," I guess I meant I would be doing a no-sugar diet, fast.

Last night I came home and Aubree had made homemade sugar cookies and butter-cream frosting. I groaned. "Aubree!! You're killing me!" I told her.

I LOVE homemade sugar cookies (mostly for the frosting). I stayed away last night, but this afternoon I just couldn't take it and had to have one. I blew my no-sugar streak after only five days. Boo hoo!

Then I decided that maybe I should have just one day per week as a "freebie." So when we had dinner at Tami's, I had a half cup of soda. Then for dessert...

Yeah, baby! A piece of chocolate satin and banana cream pie.

I know... I totally failed today. But I think I may really give myself a free day each week and I'm going to count today as one of them...

... For last week. :)

My Sugar Fast

The day before Valentines Day, I went crazy with sugar. MarRae brought in incredible sugar cookies at work. I think I had at least three. She also brought in a chocolate cake and I had a slice of that, too. Then that night I washed it all down with a big bowl of ice cream with hot fudge.

I felt horrible all day. My blood sugar levels were all over and I was crashing. I felt like total crap. So the next day, Valentines Day, I decided to go on a sugar fast. I know our bodies are easily addicted to sugar, and I knew that moderation wouldn't even do the trick. I had to stop cold turkey and completely.

So I called Matt and asked him if he had bought chocolate dipped strawberries. (He always buys flowers and chocolate dipped strawberries for me for Valentines.) Luckily he hadn't yet. I told him to please skip them this year, as I was going to go a month without sugar.

Last April I went three weeks without eating sugar. It was the best I had physically and mentally felt in a long time. Since I need to feel better mentally (and physically), I figured that I would do it again.

Today was day four with no sugar. Actually I cheated a little and had some of that chili water stuff to dip my bread in at Iggy's. I'm sure it had sugar in it. But overall I have done pretty well.

Matt and I stopped by Wal-Mart on our way home and it was KILLING me to see that Cadbury Creme Eggs were out and on the shelves.

Hopefully I can make it a whole month. I've actually thought about just doing six days a week with no sugar and giving myself a cheat day. I might resort to that. Especially if someone offers me a Cutlers Peanut Butter cookie with chocolate frosting.

Am I Crazy?

Okay, I'm totally going to go see a grief counselor.

I will let you know all the amazing and wonderful things I learn from her, once I go. My insurance covers the first three visits for free, so I figured I would take advantage of it.

Here's what finally made me realize I need to go...

The other night I had a dream that Matt took a blood test and some red cell count or something came out too high. They told him that he had cancer and would not have long to live. In my dream I told him I thought he had Lymphoma. Anyway, I was a mess! I woke up and bawled and told him I was so scared of losing him like my dad lost my mom.

Can you say, "crazy?" Yes, I think I am crazy. Okay, I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I have gone through major trauma and one of my responses is fear. I don't want what happened to my parents happen to me and my husband. I don't ever want to be apart.

So, I've decided to find a therapist and use my three free visits and see if I can work some of these "issues" out.

Now how many people openly admit on their blog that they are crazy and going to see a therapist??

Processing

I've thought a lot about dad dating lately. I've heard all the stories of how people have bucked against having their parent remarry. I've vowed to never do this. My dad has been through enough and the only time I would ever interfere is if I thought someone would hurt him.

So after a very hard weekend, I've been processing why seeing dad with someone else was so difficult.

First let me say that I don't feel like dad is bringing someone in to replace my mom. I know that he can love two people. It reminds me of having my first baby. I remember loving Tyler so intensely and wondering if I could possibly have enough love to give my second baby. Sure enough, when each of my children came into my life, my heart expanded to feel total and complete love for each of them. It didn't take anything away from the love I had for my first baby.

I am completely supportive of my dad dating and looking for a second wife. (Ironically, Mike and I were laughing the other night about how dad sometimes introduced my mom as his "first wife," just to be funny. Doh! Who would've ever thought...)

Okay, so since writing a blog is cheap therapy, here is my assessment of my feelings...
I think deep down I have been a little hopeful that my mom would come back. I know that sounds completely unrealistic and silly, but it's part of dealing with the denial piece of grief. Sometimes I still can't believe she is gone.

So when I see my dad with another woman, it kind of jars me into realizing that mom really is gone. I won't see her again for the rest of my mortal life. We have to figure out how to move on. It's a little daunting.

The other thing that is hard is seeing how dad interacts with someone else. He does little things that totally remind me of how he treated my mom. It makes me really miss her.

So there is my assessment.

Honestly, I am excited to someday have another woman in our family. We are a friendly, crazy bunch, and if that means one more person to listen to our dumb stories and laugh at our stupid jokes, we are game!

For Valentines Day, dad put flowers on mom's grave. He misses her so much. And on the same day, he gave his girlfriend a Valentines gift. He really likes her and is interested in getting to know her better.

It is a bit weird for my little brain, that's for sure.

Dad's Girlfriend

Today was a weird day. It is the five month anniversary of mom's death. I miss her so much today!

To add to that, my oldest child went on his first date tonight. He was asked to Taylorsville's Sweethearts by a friend of his.

To top it off, my dad brought his new girlfriend (yes, girlfriend) to meet all of us today.

Wow.

I honestly have been so supportive of my dad dating. I conceptually understand that he is so lonely and wants companionship. I felt a prompting just a few days after mom's death that he would be remarrying at some point and I needed to "get ready." I have no doubt that mom would want him to remarry and would be completely supportive of him dating. I love hearing all his dating stories and updates on the wonderful women he has met.

But today was the first time I have actually seen him with someone other than my mom.

We were at Marc's basketball game and he brought her to the game to meet us. They walked over to where we were sitting. As he walked her across the gym, he put his hand on her back and gently guided her - something he always did with my mom. That one act made me miss my mom so much!

When they sat down, I turned to my dad and loudly said, "Dad, she's not as funny looking as you said she was."

Dad laughed and she said, "Boy, aren't you your father's daughter!"

I then explained that when I was a teen, whenever a boy would come to the house to pick me up, dad would always say, "Aimee, he's not as funny looking as you said he was."

I told her it was payback time! We laughed about it and had a nice conversation. I walked them out and then promptly went into the women's locker room and cried.

I am not crying because I don't want my dad to date. I'm crying because I miss my mom. I think I can separate out the two, but seeing dad with someone makes me miss my mom. I can't really explain it. Plus it makes me realize how weird life is... just when you think you are going about life and everything is hunky-dory, then you find yourself six months later with your mom dead and your dad with a girlfriend. Life is just bizarre sometimes!

Dad's new girlfriend is absolutely darling and I am so happy that she makes him so happy. But I am still trying to process the whole thing and I have such a mixture of emotions today that I'm not really sure what to think.

Teenagers and Practicing

Phew! I am glad to get to the weekend. First of all, if someone told me how infuriating teenagers could be, I'm not sure if I would've dared sign up. Raising teenagers is an emotional roller coaster - some days it is so fun (like it has been the last 48 hours), and some days have been an absolute nightmare (like last Wednesday).

Matt and I have to laugh a little... we are both fairly stubborn, opinionated people. We really should not be surprised that our offspring have that same trait. Matt said it best when he said one of them had his personality, but with my stubbornness. (Doh! Am I really more stubborn than you are, babe? I'm not so sure...) I guess this is paybacks since we were stubborn, proud teens. (Sorry, mom and dad!!)

We've told our kids that there are some things that our family does that other families may not do. It's just part of being in our family. One is that we require all of our kids to take music lessons. Since we don't have a farm to help them learn hard work, we use music lessons. It includes 45 minutes of practicing six days per week to learn how to work hard, gain self-respect, and how to do things - even when you don't want to. This is the hardest work I do as a mother. Getting them to do jobs around the house isn't too difficult. Neither is helping them stay caught up in school. But practicing... sheesh. Luckily consistency has helped my kids know that there is no getting out of it. But that doesn't mean there aren't battles, and sometimes I don't know if I am up for it.

I told one of my kids to find me one adult who wishes their parents hadn't made them take music lessons. As my mother-in-law used to tell Matt, "You'll either hate me for making you take piano, or you'll hate me later for letting you quit."

Lucky for my kids, another thing that our family does is go on trips. So I tell them there are some crappy things about being in our family (like practicing), but there are some good things, too. One kid said he/she would rather never go on another trip and get to quit lessons. Unfortunately that just isn't an option. :)

So if there are any mothers out there who made it through the teenager years, making their kids practice, I'd love to know that you survived.

Caleb's Baptism

Saturday was my baby's baptism. I can't believe my youngest is 8! Caleb was thrilled to be baptized on the same day as one of his best buddies - Rhett.

Here are the dads and boys:

We couldn't do a whole family photo because Marcus and Tyler were in doing the prelude music. I was so proud of them for doing it!

The boys changed into their baptismal jumpsuits, so we took some more photos...

Here is Aubree with Caleb. She gave the closing prayer at the baptism.

For a few days before the baptism, I prayed that my mom would be able to attend. I figured that was a given, but just wanted to make sure. The morning of the baptism I asked Heavenly Father to please let me know when she got there.

For the opening song, we sang, "Jesus came to John the Baptist..." At that point I had the most overwhelming feeling and started to cry. I KNEW that was the moment that mom got there. (Mike later joked that coming in during the opening song was par for the course. Mom was not known for punctuality. Love ya, Mom!!)

My dad was sitting next to me and he was also crying. He said it was one of mom's favorite songs. I talked to Tami after and she said that even though she was sitting several benches away, that was when she was overcome with emotion. I had no doubt that mom was there!

After the opening song, Caleb and Rhett went up to the podium and they sang a song, accompanied by Marcus. It's called, "As a Child of God."

I came to earth with power to choose,
Good choices bless me and my family, too.
As a child of God I receive special light,
the Holy Ghost helps me to know what is right.


It was such a sweet song, and these two boys were so sweet standing up at the mic singing together. Thanks to Rhett's mom, Marianne, for the great idea to have them sing!

Matt did a great job baptizing Caleb and confirming him. The baptismal service was so wonderful and we were so proud of Caleb for making the choice to be baptized. We know that having this blessing in his life will help him through hard times and tough choices throughout his life.

A Date with Dad (and my two little boys)

This weekend was an eventful one. Matt has been out of town for work - he got a promotion at his company and is now working as a director in a new department. He was out of town for the entire week and it was already a very busy one, so needless to say... we are all exhausted!

Since Matt's flight wasn't in until later Friday evening, I took my two youngest boys to run errands. I invited my dad to come along. We went to Winco, Costco, and Costa Vida for dinner. Dad kept saying how much fun he was having and I kept thinking, "Seriously? Running errands is fun?" But it made me realize how lonely he is and how much he enjoys getting out.

This was the first week in a long time that he didn't have any dates, as he is starting to get tired of the dating rat race. (Plus he's realized how expensive it is to actively date!)

I've had people ask me if its hard having my dad dating and I tell them that it's way harder to see him so lonely. Even when we were at Costa Vida, he got teary and said that he and mom would often pick up a burrito there and share it.

This weekend was Caleb's baptism. (More on that in the next post.) It was also the weekend that my sister, Tami, blessed her new baby. After the blessing, I went in Tami's ward's Relief Society room. The last place I saw my mom was in that room after Lily's baptism.

We got together at my house for dinner Saturday night and Tami's house for lunch Sunday afternoon. It was a fun, family-filled weekend!

My Dream Job

I know I talk a lot about my family and especially my mom, but I thought I should record info about the place that I go every single day and devote 25-30 hours of my week... Taylorsville City Hall.

Since I had my first baby almost 16 years ago, I have never worked outside my home. I've had various part-time jobs while working from home - cemetery sales (yeah, funny, huh?), Discovery Toys sales, marketing/PR consulting, cooking as the Winder Farms chef on "Good Things Utah," and mortgage loans. It's been great to always be at home with my babies, and to have other "distractions" on the side. I don't like to sit still much, so I always find myself involved in something or other.

After building a mortgage clientele for nine years, this past summer I decided to pretty much walk away from all of it and do something totally different. (Luckily I have a great mortgage partner who is still taking care of my clients.) For the first time in 16 years, I mainly work in an office that is NOT in my home.

In August I was contracted to be the communications/PR director for Taylorsville City. I told them I wouldn't be willing to work full time. I want to be home when my kids get home from school. So I feel like I have scored the best job in the whole world!

It is fun to use my bachelor's degree, which is in mass communications/public relations. It is also fun to work for the city I love and have spent years being involved in as a citizen. Matt and I grew up in Taylorsville, and between the two of us, we have lived in all five districts of the city. When we met with our real estate agent 13 years ago to buy a home, Taylorsville was our first choice.

My job includes handling all the city's social media - Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and a city blog (taylorsvilletidbits.com). I am also the contact for the media. Yesterday, for instance, ABC 4 came to interview the Mayor. I helped prep him for the interview, and I found myself standing behind the reporter at one point shaking my head and mouthing, "Don't go there."

I send story ideas to our beat reporters, write press releases, and stand in as the spokesperson when an elected official is unavailable. I also consult on marketing the city and improving city image to help with economic development.

I love Taylorsville and I love the people I work with. It truly is my "dream job" and I feel so blessed to get to do it.

Disney World Tickets

Matt and I decided to take our kids to Disney World this November. Mike's family decided to come along, too, and so did my parents. We found a house that sleeps 16 to rent and we were all so excited to go.

Last summer, before Disney raised their ticket prices, we all bought our hopper passes to the parks. So my mom has a hopper pass for Disney World that will probably get returned to the ticket office.

The other day I was telling Marcus, my 10 year old, how grateful I was that we got one last family trip with Grandma Sherri to Snowbird last July. He said, "But didn't she already get her ticket to Disney World?" I told him that she had. Then he said, "Man, that really stinks." I assumed he was talking about how much we would miss her when we go, but then he added... "I hope I never die right before a Disney World trip and have to miss it!"

He makes me laugh!! He did agree that we would really miss having Grandma there, too.